I don't know where to start.......We're adopting! I have been praying for God to show me what His will is for me. I have also prayed for a fourth child, for 2 years. Now we are in the process of adopting a child from China. It's excting and overwhelming, more exciting though. I can't wait to meet her!
We have one more Homestudy meeting with our social worker! So many things to get together and do.....so worth it though. I had to put off getting things done last week because we had to buy 2 new cars, yes 2! The truck was not worth the amount of money it would have cost to fix it and the van was beginning to show it's age and usage, so we decided to go ahead and get rid of the both of them. No car payments in 2 years, now we have 2. Oh well, what do ya do???
Let me start at the beginning......Mike and I chose after a very difficult pregnancy with Taylor that we would make it permanent to no longer have kids. Well, I was ok with it in the beginning, but after a few years, realized I really wasn't! I have been hoping, wanting, praying for a 4th child for about 2 years now. Yes, a 4th child.....I have asked myself the same thing over and over, Why? I would think "Why am I so stuck on this? Why can't I get past this? I have 3 healthy, beautiful children. Why can't I just be happy with what I have? Am I being selfish?" I was happy, I AM happy, and so thankful that God has given me these three children. But no matter what, I could not get the thought of another child out of my head, or heart. I mentioned this to many people, but when someone responded "Sometimes, God puts these things on our hearts for a reason." I decided to stop feeling so guilty about it. I just prayed he would either take this want away or bless me with another child. I thought a lot about adoption as well as a vasectomy reversal or I would just pray, pray God would perform a miracle and his vasectomy would reverse itself or that God would open Mike's heart and he would consider adoption......Mike and I talked a lot about this over the years and he was not quite on board with the idea of a fourth child. Finally, in November he was "warming" up to the idea. Then on January 2nd, he agreed! Then about a week or so later, Mike looked into the vasectomy reversal and wanted me to consider it, but as I thought about it, I kind of freaked out. It was then that it all began to make sense to me. Along with praying for another child I also prayed for God to show me His will for me and my life. I want to live for Him, do what He wants of me. This is when I realized why God had placed this want of a 4th child on my heart, why I had a bad pregnancy and agreed to Mike's vasectomy. His will for me, for us, is to adopt.
             I say this with certainty because God has shown me. A few months ago when Mike was on the fence, I thought to myself how I hoped I would run into one of Ella's, friend's, mom. Ella had a friend in preschool that had been adopted from China and I had seen her mom at the gym a couple of times, years ago. Well, January 3rd, the day after Mike agreed to the adoption, I ran into her mom at the gym........I know, crazy, huh! We talked and she put me in contact with someone who has been a great help with my MANY questions. That same day I met a good friend for lunch who told me about a social worker that we go to church with, who specializes in adoption and had adopted herself. Long story short that is the social worker now doing our homestudy. Ella's friend's, mom also invited me to a Chinese New Year celebration, to meet others who had adopted or were in the process of adoption. I took the kids, Mike was sick, and ran into one of Taylor's favorite teachers from preschool last year, who was just starting the process as well. It's been such a blessing having these people to talk to.  I truelly feel God is paving the way for us. It's been tedious, yes, but kind of easy as well. I can only give God credit for what we are doing, and continue to pray for His guidance and help, and ask you to do the same.