Olivia turns 4......

On Saturday Olivia turned 4! 
We had an awesome birthday party at KidsUp with lots of friends.  

This was her first birthday party she has ever had. 

Last year, we had just gotten home (with her from China) and were limiting her to crowds and loud places so we had a quiet dinner at home.  

She exhausted herself playing, it was a great day, by cake time she was asleep with her eyes open, and fell asleep in the car, soon after we left to go home.

I must admit that I have thought a lot about Olivia's past and her birth mom over the past few days.  Seeing her so happy and talking non stop about her birthday is sobering.  

She has come so far and done so well and we are all so in love, but she does have a hard past that will most likely haunt her for years to come.  
I know most people don't have many memories before the age of three, but I truly believe that our subconscious does have memories and they can creep up on us when we're least expecting it. 

I have heard many stories of kids not having any problems with their past until years later.  I was talking to one adoptive mama about her last trip to China to adopt their daughter.  They took they're first adoptive daughter (from China) with them, she was about 5 (I think) when they went and had been adopted when she was about 2.  Since the trip the older daughter has been struggling with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.  The counselor said it could have been just a smell that triggered a memory or a feeling to cause her stress.  I say this because it's easy to forget that she has only been with us 1 year, but for three years she was an orphan without anyone to truly love her and meet all her emotional needs.  I pray that God will continue to comfort her through out her life as she deals with all that's yet to come, and that He can work through us to be the parents that she needs us to be.

I said earlier that I have thought a lot about her Birth mom these past few days.  Many of you know that we don't know her actual birthdate it was an educated guess when they found her.  As we will never know the truth about her abandonment I do hope that it was because her birth parents felt they couldn't help her and thought someone else could.  The one thing I know is that no woman can ever forget giving birth, so there must be some thought around this time of February that she thinks about that day (or night) when she gave birth to a beautiful little girl.  

Those first few days of looking at your child and comparing her nose to your own, or her eyes to her father's, or her beautiful lips and ears to her siblings or grandparents. 

 I wish I could tell her how wonderful her baby girl is, how loved and adored she is.  

To thank HER for giving Olivia life and giving us the chance to love her and call her our own.