A God story.....

It's hard sometimes to remember that God is in every part of our lives.  

We get so caught up in "life" that we often forget who is ultimately in charge of our life. 

Well, let me tell you a little story to remind us.

I met this girl, her name was Kathy.  We were going to China together.  We talked multiple times through Facebook and were eagerly anticipating our trips to China, together, but separate.  We knew we would be on the same plane from Atlanta to Seoul, then to Beijing, but in Beijing we would say our goodbyes and be off to get our daughters.  She lived in Savannah at the time.  When Mike and I arrived at the airport Kathy and I got to talking about our daughters we were soon to have, I told her about Olivia and that she had Arthrogryposis.  Kathy said she had a friend who had adopted 2 boys from China, BOTH with Arthrogryposis.  Now Arthrogryposis (AMC) is not a common diagnosis here in the US, I had only spoken with one other adoptive mama about AMC prior to going to China, so of course when she said this I was praising God for such a blessing.  Since AMC is not common, there aren't many doctors that treat it, I knew about Dr vanBosse from the other mama I had spoken with, but I still had a hard time wrapping my mind around traveling to Philly.........Well once we were all safe and comfy in Beijing, Kathy hooked me up with her friend, Brandi (who just so happens be a nurse as well) via Facebook.  I immediatly contacted her and we conversed a few times while I was in China.  These commonalities of adoption, nursing, LOVE for orphans, and even more a LOVE for Christ, Brandi and I became great FB buddies.  About a month after we were home Brandi and I talked on the phone and all my fears of traveling to Philly were soon relieved by everything she had to say.  Last summer we finally met face to face, in Philly, of course.  I wish we lived closer because she is an amazing women that I would love to see more often.  (On a side note, she is moving to China......I'm SO JEALOUS!!  I guess I'll have to go visit her.....;-))

Fast forward to current day, I knew she was moving to China and I knew what province but I didn't know what city.  For my own reasoning and thoughts, I FB'd her one night to find out where she would be living.  She replied and that was that.  Then I got another message from her asking if I lived close to Snellville.  I replied, yeah only about 15 minutes, and I was thinking, oh I hope she's going to be up this way so we could get together.  

She replied that a friend of hers was leaving the next morning to come to the hospital there, where a baby had been born and was available for adoption.  I immediately replied with ABSOLUTELY, please give her my number and tell her I am here if she needs ANYTHING! 

With all my traveling to Philly, alone, not knowing if we would be able to stay at the Ronald McDonald House or if we would have to find a hotel at the last minute.  And then staying in a hotel by myself in an unknown city, which I HATED, and not knowing the city well. I wanted to help her with whatever I could.  Brandi mentioned, maybe she could stay with me this weekend, her husband had to go back home for work.  

At first, I thought, that may be weird, she may not feel comfortable with it, but whatever, 
I truly wanted to help her out! 
The next night she called me and immediately we hit it off, we talked for a few minutes and decided she absolutely would stay with us.  On the next day I was having bible study at my house with my (amazing) friends, Ashley had asked if she could come by in the daylight so we could meet, then she would go back to the hospital and come back later that night to sleep.  I asked if she wanted to come for our bible study and she did.  
It was nothing but a "God thing"! 
 We had an amazing bible study, we all felt as if we had know her and she had known us, we were all so transparent and really felt God's presence as we discussed life.  I am so very thankful for that day and those 4 girls!  Ashley, eventually, went back to the hospital, and when she came home that night we stayed up til 3.A.M. talking!!  

I have gained an amazing friend and am so thankful God brought us together! So not only has God blessed me with a wonderful daughter through adoption, but He has also blessed me with some pretty awesome friends!

I have to mention one thing......this was in February (right after Valentine's Day) and I had the book, "The Best Christmas Pageant Ever" laying on my table.  

Ashley said she had the exact same book laying on her table.....

From the heart.......

I have had this on my mind so much lately and of course I keep reading other blog posts about the exact same thing I have been feeling.  
Funny how God does that, huh.......
Anyway, I wanted to express my heart, 
where it is and has been, 
and will forever be.......

The orphan crisis (yes again...), 
is exactly that a crisis. 

 And it breaks my heart.  

I am constantly, and I mean CONSTANTLY,
 thinking about it.  

I wish I didn't because it consumes me and leaves me some what depressed.  

I have prayed many prayers..... 

"take this pain in my heart away", 

"don't take it away".  

I have many groups that I'm a part of and some days I think "I'm just going to hide all these groups and stop looking at these pictures of these adorable....but sad....faces."  

Then I think to myself,

 No!  If I stop seeing these faces, I'll forget.  

I'll forget that these kids exist, all alone in this terrible world.  I must advocate and continue to annoy everyone with my 'orphan crisis' and 'every child deserves love' soap boxes.  That's the problem,

we forget, 

or we tuck it back in the back of our mind and continue on in our daily lavish, wonderful, lives.  

While they are stuck.  

Stuck in an orphanage or a foster home, 
or living on the street.
ALONE. 

When  I was young, 
I would get this split second feeling of complete loneliness.  I could be at school, in a classroom with 20 other students, at a busy mall, in the car, or at home with my mom or dad.  But it was real, a real feeling of compete loneliness, like no on else was on this earth except me.  
It would come and go quickly, not lasting long (thank God) but it was not a nice feeling and would leave me a little uneasy for many minutes later.  

I have my own personal theories as to why I felt these feelings. I think it was when I met Mike that they finally went away.  

Anyway, the reason I'm telling y'all something so personal, is because I feel that this is why I can't give up on these children.  And why I'm constantly asking you to not give up on them either.  
I look back and think maybe God was trying to help me understand something.  

Understand that these kids feel this loneliness 

ALL. THE. TIME.  

What I felt for seconds, they never stop feeling......

until(if) their forever families find them and bring them home.  

Lately Olivia has been doing a daily role call........

EVERY day she claims us......

She'll say 

"My Mommy", "My Daddy" 

and then sometimes she'll call her brothers and sister as hers, or sometimes she'll say 

"Chase's mommy", "Chase's Daddy",

 "Ella's mommy", "Ella's Daddy",

 "Taylor's Mommy", "Taylor's Daddy".  

Sometimes I wonder if she's verbally proclaiming it because she's never had it before, 

or if it's because she's still unsure that she actually has it.......

a family. 

I read a friend's post the other day about a movie she had watched....."Schindler's List"
If you haven't seen it or haven't seen it recently, it's about a man who saves thousands of Jews from the Holocaust.

Here's a scene from the movie......

1. Oskar Schindler: I could have got more. I could have got more, I don't know. If I just...I could have got more.
2. Itzhak Stern: Oskar, there are 1,100 people who are alive because of you. Look at them.
3. Oskar Schindler: If I had made more money. I threw away so much money. [laughs, then gets teary-eyed] You have no idea. If I just...
4. Itzhak Stern: There will be generations because of you.
5. Oskar Schindler: I didn't do enough.
6. Itzhak Stern: You did so much.
7. Oskar Schindler: This car. Goeth would have bought this car. Why did I keep the car? Ten people right there. Ten people. Ten more people. This pin...two people. This is gold. Two people. He would have given me two more, at least one. One more person. A person, Stern, for this. [starts crying] I could have got one more person, and I didn't! I -- I -- I -- I didn't!
8.  
9.  Now, of course he couldn't save them all,
10.  just as I can't adopt all 147 million orphans.  
11. But I will always feel we CAN do more and we MUST do more.  
12. ALL OF US.  
13. We are a selfish generation and society.  
14. Always worried about what we have, 
15. the house we live in, 
16. the car we drive,
17.  the clothes we wear,
18.  the shoes we wear, 
19. the bags we carry....
20. But yet we make excuses not to help others.
22. Well I will say in the last 2 years, I have met more people who have adopted that DON'T have $30K in their bank account, than those that do.  
23.  God doesn't lay something on our hearts and then say, "you're right, you can't do this".  
24. "You can't afford it".  
25. "You can't handle another child".  
26.  
27. NO, 
28. God says
29.  "TRUST ME!!!!! 
30. You can do this!!!! 
31. I will make sure that you have the money and the means!!!!" 
32.  
33. Have you ever read the book "Radcal" By David Platt?
    An AMAZING book that I suggest anyone and everyone read.  There are SO many great points in it but this is one of my favorites.....
34. '......We take Jesus' command in Matthew 28 to make desciples of all nations, and we say, "That means other people."  But we look at Jesus' command in Matthew 11:28, "Come to me, all who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest," and we say "Now that means me."  We take Jesus' promise in Acts 1:8 that the spirit will lead us to the ends of the earth, and we say, "That means some people."  But we take Jesus' promise in John 10:10 that we will have abundant life, and we say, "That means me." ' (Page 73)
35.  So then think about James 1:27
36. Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.
37.  
38. It doesn't say, only certain people, 
39. it is speaking to us all.
40.  
41. Psalm 82:3 say....
42. Defend the cause of the weak and fatherless; maintain the rights of the poor and oppressed.
43.  
44. Now I know not everyone can adopt, but everyone can advocate, support, and help those of us that can.  
45. Everyone can support an orphan in prayer.  
46. And everyone can pray that those of us called to adoption will listen to God's words and do as He asks us to do.  

Olivia turns 4......

On Saturday Olivia turned 4! 
We had an awesome birthday party at KidsUp with lots of friends.  

This was her first birthday party she has ever had. 

Last year, we had just gotten home (with her from China) and were limiting her to crowds and loud places so we had a quiet dinner at home.  

She exhausted herself playing, it was a great day, by cake time she was asleep with her eyes open, and fell asleep in the car, soon after we left to go home.

I must admit that I have thought a lot about Olivia's past and her birth mom over the past few days.  Seeing her so happy and talking non stop about her birthday is sobering.  

She has come so far and done so well and we are all so in love, but she does have a hard past that will most likely haunt her for years to come.  
I know most people don't have many memories before the age of three, but I truly believe that our subconscious does have memories and they can creep up on us when we're least expecting it. 

I have heard many stories of kids not having any problems with their past until years later.  I was talking to one adoptive mama about her last trip to China to adopt their daughter.  They took they're first adoptive daughter (from China) with them, she was about 5 (I think) when they went and had been adopted when she was about 2.  Since the trip the older daughter has been struggling with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.  The counselor said it could have been just a smell that triggered a memory or a feeling to cause her stress.  I say this because it's easy to forget that she has only been with us 1 year, but for three years she was an orphan without anyone to truly love her and meet all her emotional needs.  I pray that God will continue to comfort her through out her life as she deals with all that's yet to come, and that He can work through us to be the parents that she needs us to be.

I said earlier that I have thought a lot about her Birth mom these past few days.  Many of you know that we don't know her actual birthdate it was an educated guess when they found her.  As we will never know the truth about her abandonment I do hope that it was because her birth parents felt they couldn't help her and thought someone else could.  The one thing I know is that no woman can ever forget giving birth, so there must be some thought around this time of February that she thinks about that day (or night) when she gave birth to a beautiful little girl.  

Those first few days of looking at your child and comparing her nose to your own, or her eyes to her father's, or her beautiful lips and ears to her siblings or grandparents. 

 I wish I could tell her how wonderful her baby girl is, how loved and adored she is.  

To thank HER for giving Olivia life and giving us the chance to love her and call her our own.  

Philly........

Today we saw the amazing Dr vanBosse again.  

That is one busy man, flying from room to room to see all his patients that traveled from as far as California to see him.  
He is a one man show for lower extremities, 
so he works non stop, 
Monday-Friday, early morning til late at night 
(I kinda feel bad for his wife....). 
However, he is always so nice and curteous, 
even when you know his mind is full of about a million things, he still takes special time with his patients.  
Not to mention the fact that he has a two year old 
and a baby on the way!  
The Arthrogryposis community looks to him as a star,
 which he definitely deserves. 
 He doesn't stand in front of a camera and look cute, 
he's actually helping children like Olivia to walk.  
That is so much more amazing to me than a pretty smile, 
I have seen children over the past 8 months progress beautifully, 
Olivia included 
(of course;-)).  
These children have a chance at walking, 
which most would have never thought possible.  
Dr vanBosse will try as hard as he can to give these kids the best possible outcome.  
He has been doing this for 20+ years, 
so he knows his stuff, 
he is such a blessing to these children.

Today we were just there for a check up.  We weren't sure if we would make it because Philladelphia had a record amount of snow two days before we were scheduled to fly up here.  I am so glad that we made it and didn't have to reschedule.  
I had lots of questions on how the year would look with our trips to Philly.  
Today she measured exactly 36 inches, which is 3.5 inches more than last September!!  
She only weighs 24 lbs., but obviously she is thriving and getting the nutrients her little body has been needing. Because of this growth her braces needed to be adjusted, 
you won't believe how much this has helped her! There's a pretty awesome video at the end of this post!

Her little feet are regressing, Dr VB said he normally tries to wait about a year to recast but that puts us right into July.......
As many of you know, our summer last year was not very fun.........
casts in the summer, 
4 kids that LOVE the pool.......
need I say more...... 
So I asked if we could possibly do it before or after the summer and he agreed.  
I thought that before the summer would probably be the best, 
once school starts back in August, 
life gets crazy.....
 He was fine with that, 
so we will start recasting in April.  
The good news is, he thinks it will only take 4 or 5 casts this time, not 10 like last year!! :-)  
The other news we got was that her knee surgery, which I thought would take place this summer, will not be until October or November 
(yes this is the busy time of year I was just talking about, but at least we won't have to travel for castings and then the surgery too).  
As I was saying earlier about what  a busy guy he is......
well his surgery schedule is now 18 months out instead of 12 (she was put on the waiting list last April).  
I think this will be better, the kids will be in school and again it won't mess up their entire summer.
  

After we got her braces adjusted we went and met with PT.  They had her try some crutches, 
which she did great with, 
but they were a little too big, 
so we're hoping to order some from our PT at home.  
She then took about 5 steps to me, 
WITH OUT ANY ASSISTANCE!!!!  
She always amazes everyone with her determination and persistence. 
 I have no doubt that this little girl will go far in life.........
walking (or running)!

Last night we met a family here at the Ronald McDonald house that is from China!  
It is an older couple with their son, and his son, who is 17 months old.  
The little boy has cancer in his eye, so they came here to get treatment for him, 
they are living here for a few months.  
Obviously, this has been weighing on my mind.  
I have seen so many orphans with this special need.  
It is treatable/curable, 
with the right treatment, 
and obviously not an easily available treatment in China.  Luckily, this little boy has a family that can do this for him, bring him here and he can receive the treatment he needs.  They have been so, so sweet to Olivia. 
The grandparents just adore her, 
they rub her face and speak to her, sadly, she has no idea what they are saying......
BUT, she didn't turn her head away from them, 
she just looked in wonder.  
I think I talked about that in a previous post.  
Once we were home from China, 
if anyone tried to speak Chinese to her, 
she would turn her head away, 
and completely ignore them.  
Anyway, this family is such a sweet family and I love how God makes things work.  
I don't believe in luck or fate, 

it's all God, 

all the time! 

I did find it very interesting when the child's father asked me how Olivia came here.........
I said "we adopted her" (through google translate) and he said "oh"........
Made me wonder if the Chinese know that there Orphan population is as bad as it is......

Well, as I'm typing all of this, Olivia just started walking unassisted again.........
AMAZING!!! 
Thanking God for His constant blessings!

This verse keeps coming to mind tonight.....

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
Jeremiah 29:11

A year ago today.......

A year ago today we got our beautiful daughter.  

I can't believe how fast it has gone by!  

God has truly blessed us with this perfect little girl.  

Olivia has been nothing but a blessing 

and a gift to our family! 

The past year has been crazy with trips to Philly,

 work and school and 4 kids......

but worth every second of it.  

I won't lie it hasn't been exactly easy, 

there have been challenges, 

adoption is not like birthing a baby that only sleeps and eats.  She is 3.......with a tragic past, 

but at the end of the long, hard day,

 she is still our daughter that we love with all our heart!  

And really our long, hard days, aren't that bad.  

She is 3.....no matter adoption or biological, 

3 year olds can be difficult, 

she is independant, 

headstrong, 

and determined.  

These traits aren't bad traits to have, 

unless 

you're determined to hold the food in your mouth for hours, or not eat at all, 

or pout because someone told you "no", 

or refuse to poop for daaaaaayyyyysssss.  

(Yes I just said that.....). ;-)  

These are pretty manageable "issues" 

and they're already better!

God has taught me so much through out the past couple of years.  

Here I was wanting another child so badly, 

but knowing adoption was the only way it would happen.  

God showed me that He wasn't just giving me another child but He was showing me what breaks His heart, 

and asking me to break my heart as well.  

God adopted us in to His family, He has taken us in as His own children 

and loves us more than we could ever possibly imagine. 

We as Christians should want others to know and love God, so they can spend eternity with Him.  

We also should say the same for Orphans who live their lives ALONE.  

No child deserves to live this life alone, 

living it with others is hard enough, 

but alone, 

is just terrifying.  

God did not want children growing up without families, 

or love.  

Unfortunately, we as humans make choices, God graciously gave us this ability so we would choose Him.

But the choices we make aren't always the right ones, this has caused many sad and bad things in this messed up world we live in.  

Luckily, we have a God that loves us SO much he gives us Grace and forgives us for these bad choices, 

through His only Son.   

He also asks us to help Him,

to be His hands and feet 

to "love the least of these".  

He calls us to "care for orphans and widows".  

God gives us SO many blessings that we all take and use for our own pleasure, 

when we could be taking what He gives us 

and giving it to all of those listed above.......... 

Here is a slideshow of the past year.....

it's only about 12 minutes long....;-)

http://youtu.be/v9Ri3Sihohw

Halloween and Thanksgiving......

So much fun celebrating "firsts" with a 3 year old.  So much more fun than when they're a baby and don't have any clue as to what's going on........

Halloween we spent with our good friends, the kids had a blast running around and getting WAY TOO much candy.  Olivia fell asleep before we were done trick-or-treating, obviously she had lots of fun!

Thanksgiving day I took some pictures for our Christmas cards, which I had made but never mailed out........:-( If I saw you in person I TRIED to rememember to give one to you, if I didn't, I'm sorry, and to those I said I would mail one to, again I'm sorry!!

 We had Thanksgiving dinner at my moms and Olivia saw a Christmas tree for the first time.  As you can see from the pictures, she was quite enthralled.......

Catching up on the past few months.......(The end of the week-long Philly trip)

The week of PT in Philadelphia was well worth it.  Olivia did great and has continued to improve in her walking and she is constantly asking to walk!  She wants so badly to be just like everyone else and do what everyone else is doing.  Next summer she will have the knee surgery and we are very eager to see how that helps her with walking.

I MUST post the AMAZING surprise I had from some AMAZING girls while we were in Philly that week.

Olivia and I had just finished dinner and were just hanging out when I was COMPLETELY surprised by these 3 wonderful friends! They felt bad I was spending my birthday alone in Philly, so they flew up to be with us. I will FOREVER be grateful for their friendships, this was one of the BEST birthday presents I have ever gotten (a close second to Mike proposing :-)). I can't say enough about how much I love these girls and how thankful I am for them!

After they left, Olivia and I went to visit my aunt who lives in Annapolis.  I was born in Annapolis and haven't been back (we moved to GA when I was a baby), so it was fun walking around and seeing some of the sights and spending time with Kim.  

After we left Annapolis we drove about an hour to see our friends we met in China.  We enjoyed spending the week in China with them and were so excited to see each other again.  The girls had a lot of fun playing together and us Mom's enjoyed catching up!